How your guy's hormone cycle can help you have a closer relationship

Women aren’t the only ones with hormone cycles—men have them, too. Unlike our month-long cycle, theirs lasts a mere 24 hours. “Their testosterone is highest in the morning and goes down as the day goes on until it reaches the lowest point at night,” notes Michael Gurian, psychotherapist, gender expert and author of What Could He Be Thinking?.

Once you know how your guy's hormone cycle affects him, you can use it to create a closer relationship. For instance, you'll be able to pin him down for a heart-to-heart talk, get a “yes” to a favor and even avoid fights. Read on to learn how… 

Morning (when he wakes up to noon): He’s energetic, talkative, aggressive, focused and confident. He may also be combative, quick to anger and more likely to say “no” to a favor or request.

The hidden hormone reason: His testosterone is at its highest level.

To make your relationship closer: Avoid bringing up "hot button" topics that can be put off till later in the day. His high testosterone makes him more likely to fly off the handle even about little things, says Gurian.

Make your guy feel needed by asking him to fix something around the house, for instance, a broken shelf or leaky faucet. His high testosterone makes it easier for him to do anything that requires hand-eye coordination. But once he starts the project, leave him alone—a man’s high testosterone makes him feel more independent now, so he’s happiest working by himself.

Need to travel somewhere? Make your guy feel important by asking him to map out the best route to your destination—he’ll pick the quickest one! “That’s because testosterone makes his spatial skills—which are needed for map-reading—peak in the morning,” explains Barbara Pease, author of Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes.

In the mood for some bedroom fun? Fit it in during the morning hours. High testosterone makes a man’s libido peak in the early part of the day, which turns these into the most passionate hours for sex with your sweetie.

Afternoon (noon to 5pm): He’s a tad mellower but still upbeat, chatty, driven and focused. He’s also more open to working with others. You’ll catch him smiling more now, too.

The hidden hormone reason: His testosterone is at the mid-point of its cycle.

To make your relationship closer: Want to know how your mate really feels about an issue, say, an impending move or job change? Invite him to join you in a physical activity, such as walking, biking or shooting hoops. Then ask him about his feelings while you're doing the activity. Believe it or not, he'll share! The reason? At this point in their hormone cycle, men have energy to burn, so they'll enjoy being active. And males find it easier to open up about their emotions when they’re engaged in an activity, so they're  more open to answering those probing questions, explains Gurian.

If you’ve got a problem you're working on, now’s the best time to ask your mate to join you in brainstorming solutions. Not only will his hormones have him in a talkative mood, he's also more open to partnering up during these hours. Plus, helping you come up with answers to problems will make him feel more needed by you.

Evening (5pm to 7pm): His energy is bottoming out and he’s feeling mentally foggy. He craves an hour or so of down-time while he recharges.

The hidden hormone reason: His testosterone is reaching the low point of its cycle.

To make your relationship closer: Avoid pouncing on your sweetie the moment he gets home from school or work. Instead, let him zone out in front of the TV, listen to music or do whatever other low-key activity he likes to do to recharge, advises Pease. To get closer to him during these hours, simply sit silently next to him as he vegges out. Even though he probably won’t say it—or anything during this energy-zapped part of the day—he’ll appreciate your quiet company.

Want to make him feel even closer to you? Bring him pep-boosting snacks, like cheese and crackers, advises Gurian. “He’ll appreciate your kind nurturing. Plus, eating helps men get their flagging energy back up—and that will make the rest of the night with him even more enjoyable.”

Night (7pm to bedtime): He’s feeling relaxed, agreeable and close to you.

The hidden hormone reason: His testosterone has reached the lowest point of its cycle, but he's gotten past the zoned-out part of his day.

To make your relationship closer: Bring up all those hot button subjects that you need to get out of the way—such as finances and future relationship plans. “Because his testosterone levels are lower, he’s less likely to get fired up while discussing topics like these,” says Pease.

This is also the perfect time to ask the man in your life for a favor—for instance, to pick up the dry cleaning tomorrow or agree to the new pink curtains. Low testosterone makes men less argumentative and, therefore, more likely to say “yes”.

If you want to have a quiet heart-to-heart with your honey about a serious topic, here's your chance. During these hours, low testosterone makes men most open to sitting through emotion-filled chats with minimal squirming. 

Craving some physical affection, like a hug or massage? Now’s the best time to get it from him, says Pease, since his level of the hormone “oxytocin”, known as the bonding hormone, is higher. Your sweetie is also feeling more romantic, so a candlelit dinner or bubble bath will appeal to him more now than at any other time of day.

Did you know?

When a man watches a romantic movie, it raises the level of his progesterone by more than 10 percent, making him mellow and more nurturing.


Did you know?

A man’s testosterone level rises when he drinks alcohol, watches an action movie, plays video games or sees images of seductive women. It also rises when he competes in or watches a sports game. But if his team loses, his testosterone plunges!


Did you know?

You can tell how much testosterone a man has by looking at his face—and it can reveal a lot about his personality! For instance...

Does he have a strong, square jaw, finds it easy to grow a full beard and has a masculine look? Then he has a high level of testosterone.
What it reveals about him: He's independent, ambitious, competitive and a bit of a flirt.

Does he have a rounded chin, couldn't grow a beard even after a Rogaine facial and has a more feminine look? Then he has a low level of testosterone.
What it reveals about him: He's sensitive, laid-back, cooperative, considerate and is more likely to want to settle down with one gal and have kids.

Does he have a mix of masculine and feminine features? Then his testosterone level is in the middle.
What it reveals about him: He's assertive without being too overbearing, cooperative without being passive and is open to marriage, but will understand if you don't want to take your relationship to that level.



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